For last month’s fundraising deadline, I offered to humiliate myself physically and emotionally — and it was one of my most successful fundraising emails this year! You sick people helped us raise a lot of money that will go directly to worthy Democratic candidates and organizations in key states.
Thank you.
I didn’t want to write an email in which I offered to debase myself for money, but Alexandra Fetissoff, my Chief of Staff, swore that it would be wildly successful.
So, here goes. If you donate ahead of tomorrow’s end-of-month deadline to support Democrats running for office in absolutely critical races, I WILL READ SOUTH DAKOTA GOVERNOR, PUPPY KILLER, AND TRUMP VP HOPEFUL KRISTI NOEM’S NEW BOOK, “NO GOING BACK.”
Word for fucking word!
I hope you’re happy!
Al
P.S. For the record — I love dogs, so this will be very painful for me!
P.P.S. Word for the wise (and J.D. Vance): If you’ve ever killed a puppy, don’t tell anybody about it. Or, publish it in a book.
