ch: Al’s Channel

I, Al Franken, Want You to Help Tim Walz

Dear Fellow Minnesotan,

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for Election Day. That’s when we Democrats are going to take back our country from George W. Bush and his band of rubber-stamping, bribe-taking, page-abuse-not-being-terribly
-concerned-about Republicans.

Personally, I’m going to savor every single victory, but my favorite is going to be when Tim Walz takes back Minnesota’s 1st Congressional District Seat from Gil Gutknecht. Let me tell you a little about Tim and then a little about Gil.

A few months ago, I “opened” for Tim at a rally in Winona. We had about 900 people in the room, and I went for about half an hour. And let me tell you: I KILLED. In fact, I started to feel bad for Tim! How could he follow this? Well, he came out and blew me out of the water. He’s that good.

And he’s got the bio to match. A public school teacher, Command Sergeant Major (ret), and football coach, Tim shares the values that made Minnesota great, and I know he’ll do a great job representing Southern Minnesota in Washington.

CLICK HERE TO HELP TIM!

Here’s what you need to know about Gil Gutknecht. Gil gave a speech on the House floor supporting the President’s disastrous Iraq policy (he does this a lot, having voted with the President 93% of the time). He scolded Democrats, telling them, “Now is not the time to get wobbly.” Then Gil actually went to Iraq, and upon returning, immediately got wobbly. The situation, he said, is worse “than we were led to believe.” Oh yeah? By WHOM, Gil? The President, maybe? See, you didn’t think that through before you said it, did you?

In addition to being a rubber stamp for Bush, Gil is a member of the Class of 1994. You remember all those Republicans who stood on the steps of the Capitol to sign their Contract with America? Gil was one of them. They wrote, “We intend to act with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right. To restore accountability to Congress. To end its cycle of scandal and disgrace.”

And they didn’t even mean this ironically!

When they had that big photo op, they said, “If we break this contract, throw us out.” Perhaps Gil needs a little help with the “throw us out” part. What do you say we work together to do exactly that and put Tim Walz in Congress?

CLICK HERE TO HELP TIM!

We’re never going to get the country we want unless we go out there and bust our tails for it. Paul Wellstone said, “The future belongs to those who are passionate and work hard.” Join me in working hard for a guy we can all be passionate about: Tim Walz.

Yours,

Al Franken

ch: Al’s Channel

Help Me, Al Franken, Take America Back!

Scientists tell us there are only 50 days left until the election. I’ve been abiding by a strict regimen of vigorous cardiovascular activity and special high-fiber shakes, but while I’ve never been healthier, I’m going to need you guys to do your part, too, if we’re going to get rid of these Republicans this November.

Here’s one way you can help. Make a donation today to my Midwest Values PAC. We’re here to help progressive candidates, activists, and organizations in my home state of Minnesota and across the country.

CLICK HERE TO GIVE US MONEY

So far, we’ve given away hundreds of thousands of dollars to deserving candidates and organizations, and not one dime to any undeserving ones. Quite a record, huh?

ch: Al’s Channel

Al Franken: My Plan for Rehabilitating Mel Gibson

So, I don’t think Mel Gibson should be totally drummed out of the business. I think he should just have to start all over again. Put him in a movie as an “under-five” (an actor who has fewer than five lines). Make him play BUSBOY #2 in a Matthew McConaughey comedy.

ch: Al’s Channel

An Evening with Ann Coulter: Opening Statement

Thank you. First of all, I know I join Ann in thanking the University of Judaism for hosting this event. We’ve had an opportunity to spend some time with President Wexler and have dinner with many folks from the University community.

And I’d like to answer the question that I actually get asked the most when I do an event for a Jewish organization. Yes, I had enough to eat. [...]

ch: Al’s Channel

Al Franken's USO Photo Essay

There’s nothing better than doing a USO Tour. Every tour is exhausting, moving, inspiring, sad, and fun all at the same time. So far I’ve done six, starting with Bosnia and Kosovo in 1999. Of course, Clinton was president then.

I’ve done four USO Tours while Bush was commander in chief – the last three taking us to Kuwait, Afghanistan, and Iraq. Since I’ve been so outspoken in my criticism of Bush, a lot of people ask me if I ever get crap from our troops.

The answer is “never.” Not once. Until you go over there, you have no idea how happy our soldiers, marines, and airmen are to have anyone come over to see them.

ch: Al’s Channel

Illinois MVPers: Promote universal health care in Illinois!

Here are two things I’ve learned over the past few years.

1. Access to health care is at the center of almost every public policy problem our country faces. Kids who don’t have health care are more likely to miss school. Health problems contribute to half of all bankruptcies. We need universal health care, and we need it now.

2. If you want to get something done, and done right, you have to do it neighbor-to-neighbor.

That’s why I’m letting you know about something going on in Illinois. An important movement in Illinois is promoting universal health care through a referendum called Illinois Health Care Referendum 2006. IHCR is trying to collect 280,000 petition signatures of Illinois registered voters by May 1 so that the referendum can get on the ballot in November.

That’s a big job. And on Tuesday, March 21, which as you should all know is Primary Day, the group is going to have 250 volunteers at the polls collecting signatures and handing out information about Illinois legislators’ positions on health care reform.

There’s a reason this particular issue is so important to me and to the mission of MVP. Universal health care is really about sharing risk, so that no one is hung out to dry if they happen to get sick or hurt. It’s about building stronger communities, in which families have financial security and kids are able to go to school. And, it’s about common sense: other industrialized nations have universal health care, and they get better outcomes for less money than we spend on health care here in the U.S.

And, remember, another one of our Midwest values is hard work. That’s a lot of signatures we need to get together to make this happen. So let’s all pitch in.

Here’s how:

—Volunteer! Spend a few hours on Primary Day (Tuesday, March 21), gathering petition signatures. Go to illinoishealthcarenow.org to volunteer or call Ajitha Reddy at 312-315-1805.

—Bring friends!

—Give money! (MVP already did.) This is an all-volunteer effort, and they need money for printing, communications, staff, and things like that. Go to illinoishealthcarenow.org and help ‘em out.

Thanks for reading this, and for helping us support the cause of universal health care.

ch: MVP News

A Message from the Honorary Chairman

From the Desk of MVP’s Honorary Chairman…

Welcome to Midwest Values PAC. Growing up in Minnesota I was taught never to gloat. That’s why we at MVP are not making a big deal out of the incredibly low approval ratings for President Bush and Vice President Cheney. When you’re in the opposition, you want the
President and Vice President to make a few minor mistakes so they’re not too popular. But no American likes to see the string of mistakes, tragic and comic, that this Administration seems to make every day or so.

The latest CBS poll has the President at a 34% approval
rating. Which is almost twice that of Vice President Cheney’s, which
stands now at 18%. That’s right. 18%. That’s unbelievably low. I
mean to get an approval rating that low you’d have to shoot somebody.

Al Franken

ch: Al’s Channel

Cheney and the Late Night Comics

When the Lettermans and the Lenos and the Jon Stewarts start going after you, you know you’re in trouble. Of course, the late night comics had a field day last week about Cheney.

But the jokes this week might be even more disturbing for the Vice President. Because when the late night comics define you, it’s how the whole country sees you. Just look at the jokes from Monday night …

ch: Al’s Channel

Cheney Shoots Guy

Over the weekend, Vice President Dick Cheney shot a man in Texas. Asked why he shot the man, the Vice President said, “Just to watch him die.”

Seriously, it was an accident. There is nothing funny about the Vice President of the United States shooting a guy.

You know who’s doing a “there but for the grace of God go I?” Scalia.

Bush is confused. He thinks Wittington is just fine. He thought he read a headline saying “Wittington Dodges Bullet.”

Now, I imagine that Cheney and the President have hunted together. What would have happened if Cheney had shot the President? I think if he shot Bush this way, Bush isn’t 78 and he’s in pretty good shape, and he’s kinda macho. I think he would’ve gotten up and shot Cheney back. And I think they would’ve started blasting each other like in a Tarrantino movie.

By the way, Cheney shouldn’t be allowed to hunt again, should he? You get one of these, right? I mean he came very close to killing the guy.

ch: Al’s Channel

Reflections on the Wellstone Memorial and the King Funeral

Note: This post originally appeared on TheHuffingtonPost.com.

I think a little more perspective is needed when addressing the comparison that right-wing bloggers and now some mainstream journalists (Howard Kurtz) have been making between the Wellstone Memorial and the Coretta Scott King Funeral. [... Read More]